New around here

[Justin Havu]

Greetings,

I'm Justin, a 42-year-old professional musician from Newport, VT.

I suffer from Autism Spectrum Disorder, and crippling anxiety. I use fitness as a means to try to control the anxiety. I'm mostly into running, but I like cycling as well. My problem is I can't deal with any cars on the road without having an anxiety attack. I've had three or four falls over the past 20 years due to someone running me off the road, getting right-hooked and not being able to stop soon enough, those kinds of things. Each fall has just increased my anxiety, to the point where I don't know how to deal with a car even passing me properly, other than yelling at the car. It's gotten to where it's getting really difficult to enjoy the ride. There aren't any road shoulders around here, and the sides of the road are either full of potholes, crumbling apart, or have drains and manhole covers.

It's disappointing because I really like riding. I just wish I could get rid of the anxiety and relax more.

[Justin Havu]

On a lighter note, here's my ride.

   

[SPINMAN]

Hey Justin, welcome!
I feel you, and understand the power of fitness for many disorders. I've been a Johnny G certified Spinning instructor since it's infancy (30+ years)

There have been many adaptations and iterations now over the years. Spinning is the best!

See what's around your area. Some classes really suck, so don't give up if you find a bad one. Look for certified Spinning instructors, even then, you never know.

The good classes focus on form and function and heart rate training and not doing 120 rims and composer to see who goes faster. It's individual focus.

[Criminal]

Welcome Justin!
Sorry to hear about your past issues on the road. I have gone from riding nearly 100% road to using trails (paved and gravel; rail trails).

I have ridden those hilly mountain roads in New England so I know exactly what you are encountering. The last time I was in MA I went riding on their east-west rail trail and it was great. Very little bike traffic and of course no motor vehicles. I am not sure where you are in VT, but you might have some nice trails right around the corner or be able to take a short drive to where there is a trail that will some nice recreation and exercise.

Beebe Spur Rail Trail

Vermont Rail Trails (.gov)
https://railtrails.vermont.gov › Trails

Back in the day those roads were even more narrow and in worse condition, but with increased traffic flow even the slightly wider roads have not helped. MA went from 3' passing clearance to 4' and when I did hit the actual roads in MA the motorists were actually really taking it to heart; but of course it only takes one numbskull to screw day. I actually felt safest when doing high speed descents because I was going as fast or faster than the cars were.

Even buying all the safety gear for bike and body only help so much if someone is a poor driver. Radars, cameras, mirrors, flashing lights, etc. do not prevent you from being hit. Even if you are aware of an impending danger, you still need room to avoid it.

Aside from staying on trails my best advice is to ride more towards the center of the travel lane even though it may seem counterintuitive. Cars tend to avoid that which is in front of them while somewhat ignoring that which does appear to impede their travel. Do not pull over but hold your ground; drivers have to slow down and wait if unable to pass, and it is your legal right to travel on the road and not on the shoulder. Of course you should not intentionally block traffic, but if riding you are not blocking anyone anymore than a slower travelling vehicle is with others waiting to pass.
Do not wear or mount noise making devices; you at least need to hear the threat as early as possible to provide time to react.

I guess if you are into going nowhere and want to use a trainer then that is fine. I do not find sitting in my house "riding" my bike at all enjoyable, but some people do. Being outside with nature is what cycling is all about IMO. If the weather is poor you can always hop on a trainer to get some exercise, but I see no purpose other than that for my needs.

[SPINMAN]

(05-05-2026, 06:13 PM)Criminal Wrote:  Welcome Justin!
Sorry to hear about your past issues on the road. I have gone from riding nearly 100% road to using trails (paved and gravel; rail trails).

I have ridden those hilly mountain roads in New England so I know exactly what you are encountering. The last time I was in MA I went riding on their east-west rail trail and it was great. Very little bike traffic and of course no motor vehicles. I am not sure where you are in VT, but you might have some nice trails right around the corner or be able to take a short drive to where there is a trail that will some nice recreation and exercise.

Beebe Spur Rail Trail

Vermont Rail Trails (.gov)
https://railtrails.vermont.gov › Trails

Back in the day those roads were even more narrow and in worse condition, but with increased traffic flow even the slightly wider roads have not helped. MA went from 3' passing clearance to 4' and when I did hit the actual roads in MA the motorists were actually really taking it to heart; but of course it only takes one numbskull to screw day. I actually felt safest when doing high speed descents because I was going as fast or faster than the cars were.

Even buying all the safety gear for bike and body only help so much if someone is a poor driver. Radars, cameras, mirrors, flashing lights, etc. do not prevent you from being hit. Even if you are aware of an impending danger, you still need room to avoid it.

Aside from staying on trails my best advice is to ride more towards the center of the travel lane even though it may seem counterintuitive. Cars tend to avoid that which is in front of them while somewhat ignoring that which does appear to impede their travel. Do not pull over but hold your ground; drivers have to slow down and wait if unable to pass, and it is your legal right to travel on the road and not on the shoulder. Of course you should not intentionally block traffic, but if riding you are not blocking anyone anymore than a slower travelling vehicle is with others waiting to pass.
Do not wear or mount noise making devices; you at least need to hear the threat as early as possible to provide time to react.

I guess if you are into going nowhere and want to use a trainer then that is fine. I do not find sitting in my house "riding" my bike at all enjoyable, but some people do. Being outside with nature is what cycling is all about IMO. If the weather is poor you can always hop on a trainer to get some exercise, but I see no purpose other than that for my needs.

Good point. The majority of drivers don't know the laws that say we are entitled to use the roadway as a vehicle of no other means exist, ie bike lane. If they can't pass without leaving 3 feet of space, they have to stay behind us. As to the stationary bike part I was referring to organized indoor cycling classes like Spinning.

[Justin Havu]

(05-05-2026, 06:13 PM)Criminal Wrote:  Welcome Justin!
Sorry to hear about your past issues on the road. I have gone from riding nearly 100% road to using trails (paved and gravel; rail trails).

I have ridden those hilly mountain roads in New England so I know exactly what you are encountering. The last time I was in MA I went riding on their east-west rail trail and it was great. Very little bike traffic and of course no motor vehicles. I am not sure where you are in VT, but you might have some nice trails right around the corner or be able to take a short drive to where there is a trail that will some nice recreation and exercise.

Beebe Spur Rail Trail

Vermont Rail Trails (.gov)
https://railtrails.vermont.gov › Trails

Back in the day those roads were even more narrow and in worse condition, but with increased traffic flow even the slightly wider roads have not helped. MA went from 3' passing clearance to 4' and when I did hit the actual roads in MA the motorists were actually really taking it to heart; but of course it only takes one numbskull to screw day. I actually felt safest when doing high speed descents because I was going as fast or faster than the cars were.

Even buying all the safety gear for bike and body only help so much if someone is a poor driver. Radars, cameras, mirrors, flashing lights, etc. do not prevent you from being hit. Even if you are aware of an impending danger, you still need room to avoid it.

Aside from staying on trails my best advice is to ride more towards the center of the travel lane even though it may seem counterintuitive. Cars tend to avoid that which is in front of them while somewhat ignoring that which does appear to impede their travel. Do not pull over but hold your ground; drivers have to slow down and wait if unable to pass, and it is your legal right to travel on the road and not on the shoulder. Of course you should not intentionally block traffic, but if riding you are not blocking anyone anymore than a slower travelling vehicle is with others waiting to pass.
Do not wear or mount noise making devices; you at least need to hear the threat as early as possible to provide time to react.

I guess if you are into going nowhere and want to use a trainer then that is fine. I do not find sitting in my house "riding" my bike at all enjoyable, but some people do. Being outside with nature is what cycling is all about IMO. If the weather is poor you can always hop on a trainer to get some exercise, but I see no purpose other than that for my needs.

Yep, I don't wear any earbuds or have any noisemakers anywhere on my bike. I don't even listen to music when running -- it's too distracting.

I'm in Newport, about 6 miles from Canada. There is a trail that runs alongside Lake Memphremagog, but it's a gravel trail. Even though my KHS is a gravel bike, I feel like I'm going to slip off of it at any point. I don't mind the roads being hilly around here at all. I've got one 10-mile loop I really like, and I feel like I'm getting a bit stronger each time I ride it.
I think I just need to stop caring about whether I'm in someone's way or not, but focus more on my safety.
As far as indoors, I have a stationary bike that I'll work out on, but only in the winter, when it's raining, or when it's too cold for shorts and a sleeveless top. Lol

[Flowrider]

Gday Justin. Welcome!
Yup had my share of road instances and now ride pretty much ride 95% off road. Fortunate to live in an area with plenty of mountain biking tracks.

Bikes are like a magnet to drivers!

Have fun on here.

There's so much information!

[Tamenund]

Like @Criminal has said, rail trails can be free of the automobile hassle. Sometimes (especially on weekends) they can be crowded with lots of dog walkers and sometimes unsupervised children. But, you may also encounter lots of friendly bikers, well behaved children and walkers who are very bike aware.
Even though it's not your style, for reasons that you stated, more rural country roads, in the middle of the week have very few cars on them. I do realize that not everyone can ride at these times.
Good luck on all your bicycle travels, Stay safe'
Robert

[Justin Havu]

I'd have to ride on a paved trail. I just feel like I could slip off of a gravel trail at any time, even with my gravel bike. I actually had a bad accident a couple weeks ago (no scars or scrapes, just bruised up), and my back wheel is badly bent and needs to be replaced, and my rear derailleur needs replacement as well. I'll post updates when I get that done.

[GirishH]

Dear @Justin Havu, ​I'm so sorry to hear about your recent accident, and past encounters with vehicular traffic, distracted drivers, and gravel trails.

Please don't let the anxiety take over; give it time, let it pass, and then slowly get back on your bike.

​If possible, try a fat bike. I'm not just saying that because it's the only bike I own and ride, but because they are very stable in sand, gravel, wet mud, and snow. A fat bike might help you overcome the anxiety that trails bring, especially when you are forced off the road by traffic.

Thanks to the tire size, I can easily ride mine on the road, off-road, and in the mountains.

​Another alternative is to check out the Green Mountain Club and Meetups for hikes and group bicycle rides. Riding with others can help you build confidence and also pick up some new skills.

​For example, I used to be very anxious about downhills and would always ride my brakes, whether on trails or paved roads. Finally, during a Boston-to-Vermont ride, a cyclist passing me said I needed to learn to enjoy the downhills because I had earned them by climbing up. That time, I was actually walking my bike down the paved road..:-(

​Please give yourself time, but try to find safer alternatives and ways to enjoy riding. You are so blessed with nature in Vermont, and if I remember correctly, the state has plenty of unpaved back roads. Those would be excellent options if there aren't any good trails nearby.

(05-16-2026, 06:56 AM)Justin Havu Wrote:  I'd have to ride on a paved trail. I just feel like I could slip off of a gravel trail at any time, even with my gravel bike. I actually had a bad accident a couple weeks ago (no scars or scrapes, just bruised up), and my back wheel is badly bent and needs to be replaced, and my rear derailleur needs replacement as well. I'll post updates when I get that done.

[Justin Havu]

(05-16-2026, 08:09 AM)GirishH Wrote:  Dear @Justin Havu, ​I'm so sorry to hear about your recent accident, and past encounters with vehicular traffic, distracted drivers, and gravel trails.

Please don't let the anxiety take over; give it time, let it pass, and then slowly get back on your bike.

​If possible, try a fat bike. I'm not just saying that because it's the only bike I own and ride, but because they are very stable in sand, gravel, wet mud, and snow. A fat bike might help you overcome the anxiety that trails bring, especially when you are forced off the road by traffic.

Thanks to the tire size, I can easily ride mine on the road, off-road, and in the mountains.

​Another alternative is to check out the Green Mountain Club and Meetups for hikes and group bicycle rides. Riding with others can help you build confidence and also pick up some new skills.

​For example, I used to be very anxious about downhills and would always ride my brakes, whether on trails or paved roads. Finally, during a Boston-to-Vermont ride, a cyclist passing me said I needed to learn to enjoy the downhills because I had earned them by climbing up. That time, I was actually walking my bike down the paved road..:-(

​Please give yourself time, but try to find safer alternatives and ways to enjoy riding. You are so blessed with nature in Vermont, and if I remember correctly, the state has plenty of unpaved back roads. Those would be excellent options if there aren't any good trails nearby.

I appreciate the comment! I'll be working with a therapist soon to address the autism/anxiety thing. I need to be able to run and bike, as exercise is my number one coping skill, and I'm having a hard time getting past the traffic issue.

I ride the brakes on the downhills quite a bit here -- there are a few tight twists and turns on the back roads, and I want to make sure I'm controlling the bike, and the bike isn't controlling me. Lol. Like I said, I enjoy the hills around here, even the ones going up.

[Justin Havu]

As far as recovering from that accident, I'm fine, just bruised up. My bike needs some work, though. The rear derailleur and hanger, and the rear wheel need replacements. I've got all the parts, just waiting on a replacement hanger (that cost me an arm and a leg). Since I'm a bit OCD, I'm replacing both wheels with a new wheelset. We'll see how it goes.

[Sidewinder]

After 7 months, my broken thumb has not healed correctly, so I have an appointment with a hand specialist on 6/3. He's a surgeon as well, so maybe he can get in there and carve out whatever is causing the problem. All that grief for ONE distracted driver, but I keep thinking I dodged a bullet by successfully evading the oncoming truck. I keep seeing weird wrecks on the TV news, mostly distracted drivers but a few whack jobs as well, lol. Meh, ya gotta be careful out there nowadays, too many distracted drivers looking at their cell phones... it's almost like ya gotta give the DRUNK DRIVERS some credit, at least they're TRYING to see the road, lol. CHEERS!!!

Sidewinder in Silver City, New Mexico

P.S. Guess I'm NOT banned after all? Had some "Forbidden" notice last time I tried to log in, maybe it was just a computer glitch... can't recall saying anything worth banishment, lol. Not to say I've never been banned before...

[Flowrider]

Hey @Sidewinder how did that all work out? You good now?

[Justin Havu]

Well, there's no saving the KHS. The frame is too bent in the rear that the disc brake system isn't aligning properly. Shopping for a new hybrid, but I'm kinda at a roadblock. I want to stick to a 21-speed, however the majority of hybrids have moved away from 3x drivetrains, back down to 1x or 2x. I was looking at some of the Marin offerings, but again, I'm so used to having a 3x drivetrain that I'm nervous to try anything else.

[Justin Havu]

Posted this in the Photos forum, but I thought I'd update here as well.

I ended up getting a Marin Fairfax 2. It was the closest thing I could find to what I actually wanted, as there aren't any bike shops around here, just a repair shop. So, no being able to try anything or even find anything used. I also can't drive due to my poor eyesight and my autism/anxiety.

Anyway, about the bike. It came partially assembled from a shop in Rochester, NY. I just had to attach the front disc brake, handlebar (which had the difficult stuff already fitted), seat, and pedals. It's decent enough, but I need to swap some things out. I like the hydraulic disc brakes, and the saddle is comfortable enough. 8 gears in the back is plenty for me.

However, I'm not liking the bald, road-bike style tires. I took it for a quick 7.5 mile test ride, and I was quite nervous about passing through, say, a little bit of gravel or sand on the roads around here, that I might slip and crash. I need some tires with a bit of a tread on them.

Also, I'm not a fan of having only 2 gears on the drivetrain. That needs to get swapped out to 3. I don't have as much shifting range as I did on my KHS, and my lowest gear (for climbing) is nowhere near as low as the KHS. So, the drivetrain needs to be swapped out. It's all a bit frustrating, but I'm determined to get this bike exactly as I want it. At around $699, it was less expensive than to find a new frame for my old bike.

   

[GirishH]

Dear @Justin Havu, truly sorry to hear about your recent accident but glad to see that you are back on the bikeT. That's the spirit..:-)

(05-18-2026, 09:06 AM)Justin Havu Wrote:  As far as recovering from that accident, I'm fine, just bruised up. My bike needs some work, though. The rear derailleur and hanger, and the rear wheel need replacements. I've got all the parts, just waiting on a replacement hanger (that cost me an arm and a leg). Since I'm a bit OCD, I'm replacing both wheels with a new wheelset. We'll see how it goes.

[Justin Havu]

(06-12-2026, 10:07 AM)GirishH Wrote:  Dear @Justin Havu, truly sorry to hear about your recent accident but glad to see that you are back on the bikeT. That's the spirit..:-)

Well, I don't know about that. I'm not a fan of the new bike, and it'll cost more than the bike is worth to make the changes I need to make to it. I need a 3x crankset instead of a 2x, and I don't really want bald road-bike tires on a hybrid bike. I'll be reselling this one versus having to ship it back to NY. Oh well, the search goes on.

[GirishH]

Hello @Justin Havu, sorry to hear about your bike trivails.

How about checking Facebook marketplace or Craigslist or even local fairs or Sunday church fundraisers.

Or maybe go to Burlington or Montpelier during the "moving" week. You might find a good deal on a used bicycle..:-)

(06-13-2026, 03:49 PM)Justin Havu Wrote:  

(06-12-2026, 10:07 AM)GirishH Wrote:  Dear @Justin Havu, truly sorry to hear about your recent accident but glad to see that you are back on the bikeT. That's the spirit..:-)

Well, I don't know about that. I'm not a fan of the new bike, and it'll cost more than the bike is worth to make the changes I need to make to it. I need a 3x crankset instead of a 2x, and I don't really want bald road-bike tires on a hybrid bike. I'll be reselling this one versus having to ship it back to NY. Oh well, the search goes on.

[Justin Havu]

Well, I was able to get my hands on a crank puller. Pulled the 3x set off of my KHS and installed it onto the Fairfax 2, which thankfully also had a square taper crankset. Waiting on a 3x left shifter, which should be arriving today. Once that's installed and the gears indexed, all that's left is to replace the bald tires with proper hybrid tires. Y'know, something with some kind of tread.